Singles: 10 Simple Principles for Having Amazing Relationships in 2014

Successful relationships are built on solid foundations. If you are ready to put in the work that requires to love yourself and make grown-up decisions, then here are 10 Simple Principles for Having Amazing Relationships in 2014.

1. Be Happy and Loving on Purpose.
Happiness is a learned way of life, shares Christian Counselor Keisha D. Hines in the article Be Happy and Loving….on Purpose!


My mother taught me to enjoy life and love hard. But more importantly, she exemplified it by living a life of service and forgiveness. That’s what separated me from my peers; I learned how to love and be happy. Also, I wanted to be happy and so I was. Happiness wasn’t always a laugh, smile, or nice gesture but a still calmness and a genuine appreciation for life and people despite hardships. As stated above, I was (and still am) happy on purpose.
2. Understanding Your Identity and Purpose is Important
Understanding your identity and purpose is so important before entertaining a serious relationship says author Delano Squires in 5 Things Your Relationship Says About You.
It is extremely difficult to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t know, and isn’t comfortable with, who they are. Understanding what relationships—past, present, and future—say about us is one of the best ways to protect ourselves from getting into situations that are clearly not in our best interest.
3. KNOW that You are a Winner
“Get to know who you are, so you aren’t seeking validation from another person,” says Dr. Michelle Johnson. In the article 6 Questions From Single Women about Intimacy, Relationships, and Prayer Dr. Michele answers the question “How do I win at relationships?” by saying:
There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who sees themselves as a loser. They mope around, complain, and suck the life out of everybody around them. On the other hand, a winner goes into situations beforehand expecting victory. Winners in life and winners in marriage expect victory, but first and foremost, they make a decision to do their work. Work with God, and work on you!
4. Some Dating Advice Needs to Be Ignored!
“If you are, in fact, grown, there is some relationship advice you should ignore,” says author Kara Stevens in the article 6 Dating Tips That Just Don’t Apply To “Grown” Folk. She says:
But as grown folk, there are just some dating tips that do not apply to you because you know who you are, what you want out of life, and what you want in a partner.
5. Marriage is Not the Cure
Marriage does not have super powers and can’t take a struggling dating relationship and transform it into a marriage made in heaven, says relationship coach Tiya Cunningham-Sumter in Marriage Is Not the Cure for a Bad Dating Relationship
If a person drives us crazy when we’re just dating, they’re probably going to drive us the same kind of crazy once we marry. The individual has to acknowledge their present behavior isn’t benefiting the relationship. If they are unable to do that, what makes one recognize it in a marriage? I am a firm believer that when people show us who they are, we must believe them. People can and do change, but they have to want to. We don’t have the power to change them and neither will marriage.
6. If You Want a Successful Relationship, Design It
If you want a great relationship, then you should put a plan in place for making it happen, says author and relationship coach Jay Hurt in How to Get What You Want by Designing Your Relationship
Design means to plan or fashion artistically or skillfully. We have a vision for what we want and we plan around the intent toward that vision. Relationships should be no different. Designing a plan to have a successful relationship, whether man or woman, just makes good sense. Knowing your design of what you want in a relationship puts you in a mindset of being focused on what is important to you and not being distracted by what might not work for you.
7. Grown Women (or Men) Don’t Do Debt
“Debt is a curse and keeps you from living your life free of fear, worry, and frustration” says life coach Kara Stevens in Grown Women Don’t Do Debt: 5 Baby Steps To Eliminate Debt.
Bottom line: we must confront our debt in order to control it and ultimately eliminate it. We must tackle our debt in order to feel and be grown.
8. Don’t Put All of Your Cards on the Table Too Soon
In dating, some information is on a need to know basis, says relationship coach Tiya Cunningham-Sumter in Singles: 10 Things You Shouldn’t Reveal Right Away.
I had to learn that not everyone I dated was worthy of me revealing my inner most secrets. It wasn’t until I felt completely comfortable and knew the relationship was going somewhere that I truly shared.
9. Stay Focused on the Right Things
“Focus less on getting a relationship and more on setting up the best relationship for us,” says Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Author Stephan Labossiere in the article Mandatory Prerequisites: 5 Keys To Starting A Successful Relationship
Most truly desire a successful relationship, but a good foundation has to be in place in order for that to happen. I’m not talking success, as in just staying together, because plenty of people remain in unhealthy and toxic relationships. I’m talking the success that creates a loving, positive, and fulfilling relationship in the way that all can appreciate.
10. Forgiveness Heals Your Mind, Body, and Soul
Learn to embrace your healing and forgive, says author Latoya Irving in 3 Ways Forgiveness Heals You.
Forgiving someone does not say that what that person did was OK. It means you no longer allow it to hold you hostage. You have the right to be angry and hurt; just don’t stay in that place. Envision your forgiveness like a helium balloon released in the air; once you let it go, it never returns
http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2014/01/singles-10-simple-principles-for-having-amazing-relationships-in-2014/